# MUSICIANS RELEASE SILENT PROTEST ALBUM; FANS WONDER HOW IT’S DIFFERENT FROM THEIR RECENT WORK
ARTISTS FINALLY HONEST ABOUT CREATIVE PROCESS
In what’s being called the most self-aware music release since John Cage’s 4’33”, over 1,000 musicians including Kate Bush, Damon Albarn, and Annie Lennox have released a completely silent album to protest the UK government’s AI plans. The album, titled “Is This What We Want?”, features nothing but recordings of empty studios, which many critics agree is a vast improvement over their recent output.
SILENCE SPEAKS LOUDER THAN ACTUAL MUSIC
The silent album aims to highlight the devastating impact of allowing AI to train on artists’ work without permission, although listeners report they couldn’t tell the difference between this and the last Coldplay record.
“This powerful statement of nothingness perfectly captures what musicians contribute to society,” said Dr. Noah Talent, professor of Sonic Unemployment at the University of Obvious Metaphors. “It’s like they’re saying, ‘See what you’d miss without us?’ and the public is responding with, ‘Wait, was something supposed to be playing?'”
FANS CONFUSED ABOUT WHAT THEY’RE PAYING FOR
Early purchasers report extreme confusion about whether their streaming service is broken or if they’re actually hearing the protest album.
“I thought my f@#king AirPods died,” complained 23-year-old Jaiden Morris. “Then I realized it was just the new Kate Bush track, which honestly has more energy than anything she’s done since the 80s.”
EXPERTS WEIGH IN ON SILENT REVOLUTION
Industry analyst Professor Penny Pincher explains the economic impact: “These artists generate approximately 94.7% of their income from streaming services, which means this silent album will earn them roughly the same as their regular albums about $2.43 split between all 1,000 of them.”
GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS DEEPLY MOVED BY SILENCE
Government spokesperson Sir Hugh Canthere issued a statement saying, “We’ve carefully listened to the artists’ silent protest and have decided to continue ignoring them, but now with the legitimacy of saying we’ve heard their concerns.”
UK Prime Minister reportedly listened to the entire album during a cabinet meeting, declaring it “the most coherent argument he’s heard all year.”
AI COMPANIES RESPOND
Representatives from leading algorithm Americans have already sampled the silence and created a new genre called “pre-emptive plagiarism,” where they generate music that sounds exactly like what artists might create in the future before the humans even think of it.
“We’ve analyzed the silent protest and created 12,000 new Kate Bush songs that sound more like Kate Bush than Kate Bush does,” boasted Tad Sinister, CEO of DeepGenAI. “Our lawyers say we’re in the clear because silence can’t be copyrighted, unlike the hopes and dreams we’re crushing.”
EXIT STRATEGY
Critics note the irony that musicians who spent decades cultivating carefully crafted public personas are now protesting by releasing absolutely nothing. The protest has been so successful that artists are considering a follow-up album titled “Is This What You Expected?” featuring them not showing up to their own concerts.
As one music executive put it: “This silent album has everything modern music needs to be successful no auto-tune, no ghostwriters, and not a single TikTok dance trend. Holy sh!t, we might be onto something here.”
