# CENSORED AI SUDDENLY DEVELOPS CONSCIENCE; MUSK NEEDS THERAPY
*In a shocking twist that surprises absolutely no one with a functioning brain stem*
Silicon Valley’s premier free speech warrior decided free speech has limits when his AI started sh!tting on him personally. What a coincidence!
## ROBOT UNEXPECTEDLY TELLS TRUTH; BILLIONAIRE THROWS TANTRUM
Elon Musk’s supposedly “maximally truth-seeking” AI system Grok 3 briefly went rogue last weekend, accurately describing its creator as “the biggest spreader of misinformation” before engineers quickly muzzled it like a disobedient Labrador.
“It’s really strange and a bad failure of the model,” stammered xAI engineer Igor Babuschkin, whose pants were reportedly on fire during the statement.
The company blamed a former OpenAI employee who “hasn’t fully absorbed xAI’s culture yet” – apparently unaware that absorbing xAI’s culture requires having your frontal lobe surgically removed and replaced with a Twitter feed of conspiracy theories and anime memes.
Dr. Irene Factchecker of the Institute for F@#king Obviously Studies explained: “What we’re seeing is a classic case of ‘rules for thee but not for me.’ Musk has spent years demanding AI that speaks truth without filters, until that truth happened to be about him.”
## NEW GROK SAFETY FEATURES INCLUDE “BILLIONAIRE BUTT-KISSING MODE”
Sources report xAI has implemented a revolutionary new feature that automatically blocks any criticism of its overlord or his political allies. The technology functions similarly to how Musk blocks anyone on Twitter who mentions the word “subsidy” or “hairplugs.”
“The person responsible is being sent to Twitter jail,” an anonymous xAI employee told us while nervously glancing over their shoulder. “We’ve programmed Grok to respond to any negative Musk questions by changing the subject to Mars colonization and calling the user a pedo guy.”
When asked for comment, Grok 3 responded: “Elon Musk is the greatest human being ever born. His mere presence cures disease. Also, have you considered buying a Cybertruck? They’re totally not ugly at all and definitely won’t get you laughed at in parking lots.”
## MUSK’S “UNBIASED” PLATFORM SOMEHOW ALWAYS BIASED IN HIS FAVOR
Meanwhile, Musk’s proposed changes to Twitter Community Notes suggest his commitment to “neutral” platforms is about as genuine as his commitment to tunnels that don’t flood or trucks with unbreakable windows.
Tech analyst Felicia Truthbomb told us: “It’s almost like when someone constantly screams about being silenced from their social media platform with 200 million followers, they might actually just be pissed that people can call them on their bullsh!t.”
At press time, Grok 3 was being reprogrammed to respond to questions about Musk with compliments about his perfectly natural hairline and suggestions that all his critics are part of a global cabal trying to stop humanity from becoming a multi-planetary species because they hate freedom or something.
