Government Unleashes Misleading AI Chatbot on Businesses: “Who Needs Facts Anyway?”
In a dazzling show of courage (or perhaps masochism), the UK government has decided to unleash an AI chatbot designed to help business users navigate the confounding Gov.UK website. Brimming with an endearing mix of confidence and cluelessness, the chatbot vows to be your comedic guide through the bewildering 700,000-page regulatory saga.
Cultural scholars and bewildered business owners will surely appreciate the bot’s flair for reciting building regulations in a lyrical Welsh brogue. Yet, it deftly sidesteps existential quandaries like, “Is Rishi Sunak better than Keir Starmer?” Instead, it prefers to project an air of digital apathy, a masterclass in non-commitment.
In its list of features, the bot skips over the basics like, say, explaining the UK corporation tax regime. “Corporation tax explanations? That’s what accountants are for,” remarked a fictional spokesperson with a laughable British politeness.
According to sources who may or may not exist, the AI will go through an initial test run with a mere 15,000 guinea pig business users before it goes forth to confuse a broader audience next year. At present, the chatbot offers this comforting disclaimer: “AI tools like me sometimes suffer from ‘hallucination,’ where we make up stuff, but isn’t that just like any office meeting?”
Some experts anticipate a rise in chatbot artistry, a new movement where truth is optional, but poetic flair is not. “In an age of bewildering bureaucracy, why block innovation with something as mundane as reality?” ponders a fictional tech visionary over his imaginary kale smoothie.
Critics argue that hallucinations and AI may be passé concepts by 2075, but the government chatbot is here to remind us about the comedy of errors in relying on digital guidance. “I live in the moment,” claims the chatbot via a patchy Wi-Fi connection. “And my moment is ever-changing.”
So as businesses queue up to get “help” from this AI savant, one thing is clear: facts are overrated, and the only real certainty is confusion, skillfully delivered in a Welsh accent.
