**World Leaders Gather in Paris to Complain About AI While Using AI to Write Their Speeches**
PARIS — A distinguished group of political leaders, tech moguls, and people who still pretend to understand AI convened in Paris this week to express deep, heartfelt concern over the technology’s impact on the environment and inequality—just before flying home in carbon-spewing private jets paid for by AI-driven stock investments.
Anne Bouverot, Emmanuel Macron’s AI envoy and a person whose job title didn’t exist five years ago, kicked off the summit with an urgent warning. “AI is consuming unspeakable amounts of energy,” she declared, conveniently speaking into a microphone that probably ran on an AI-powered sound system. “If this continues, only the ultra-rich will have access to its benefits.”
The audience, consisting mostly of ultra-rich people already benefiting from AI, nodded solemnly.
Experts highlighted how the sheer computational power required to train AI models was now draining more electricity than some small countries. “We must act quickly,” said one tech executive while refreshing his crypto portfolio, half of which was managed by AI. “Otherwise, the wealth gap will continue to widen.”
World leaders spent most of the afternoon discussing solutions, which largely involved issuing long, dramatic warnings and drafting reports that no one will read. Their most innovative proposal? Asking AI companies to “be nicer.”
Meanwhile, tech executives assured attendees that AI would remain a force for good. “Sure, AI might be exacerbating social inequality and warming the planet,” admitted one CEO while sipping a champagne flute refilled by an automated robot waiter. “But have you seen how good it is at making cat videos? Humanity is in safe hands.”
At the end of the summit, delegates vowed to keep monitoring the situation closely—probably with AI-assisted software that tracks real-time climate disasters. As they left, they expressed optimism that something, somewhere, would magically fix itself.
“AI will not control our fate,” one leader proclaimed before boarding his AI-scheduled private jet. “We will control it!” Then he asked ChatGPT what time his next meeting was.
