MIT Scientists Blow Minds by Inventing Device That Counts Fish—The Fish Counter
Cambridge, MA—In an earth-shattering scientific breakthrough, researchers at MIT have unveiled new cutting-edge technology that can count fish. That’s right, folks. After centuries of relying on human eyesight and common sense, we are now harnessing artificial intelligence to do what a third grader with a notebook and basic patience could accomplish.
Led by Assistant Professor Sara Beery, this revolutionary project aims to tackle one of the great unsolved mysteries of the modern world: how many salmon swim upstream each year. “This is a problem so complex, so daunting, it required an elite team of electrical engineers and computer scientists working with millions of dollars in funding,” Beery stated while adjusting the cables on what appears to be a glorified waterproof security camera.
Historically, monitoring salmon migration involved the unimaginable physical strain of sitting by a river and counting them. But thanks to those brilliant minds at MIT, we may never have to rely on a guy with a clipboard again. “We’ve developed an automated surveillance system with sonar cameras, neural networks, and a small, lightweight computer called the Fishbox,” explained Justin Kay, PhD student and apparent destroyer of traditional fish-counting jobs.
The Fishbox, allegedly both “small” and “lightweight,” allows fishery managers to plug it into a laptop on the riverbank and let the all-knowing algorithm do the rest. “Before, we had to count the fish manually. Now, we just worry whether the Fishbox is miscounting them for us! Progress!” said a local fishery worker who now questions what’s left of his job security.
Experts say that before automation, the error margin in fish counting was around 10%. After MIT deployed its high-tech, self-calibrating salmon scanner, this margin was reduced to—wait for it—between 10 and 15%. That’s right. The machine is technically worse at counting fish in certain rivers than the humans it was designed to replace.
But don’t worry, Beery insists the AI system will “learn” over time. “Right now, it gets confused by things like river depth, lighting, and, you know… fish sometimes looking slightly different. But soon, it’ll adapt like all great technologies, probably by making a bunch of mistakes and eventually being improved by, yes, more human effort.”
In a final coup for the tech world, Beery’s project is now celebrated for fostering real-life human interaction, because in a shocking turn of events, MIT determined that ensuring a species’ survival requires speaking to people who actually work with fish. A recent workshop even brought together researchers, fishery managers, and Indigenous tribes. The result? A Slack channel where over 50 participants can now send fish memes and argue over what “real-time salmon management” even means.
As MIT continues to throw its intellectual might behind the life-altering challenge of counting salmon with computers, experts in other fields eagerly await the next advancement. Will AI finally tell us how many jellybeans are in the jar at the county fair? Only time will tell.
