REDDIT SUES AI COMPANY FOR COMMENT THEFT; ANTHROPIC DENIES PLAGIARIZING THE INTERNET’S BATHROOM WALL
In what industry experts are calling “the most ironic digital colonization since Facebook convinced people to voluntarily surrender their privacy,” social media dumpster fire Reddit has filed a lawsuit against AI company Anthropic for allegedly stealing user comments to train its chatbot without permission.
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Anthropic, the company behind the AI assistant Claude, reportedly used automated bots to harvest millions of Reddit comments, including such intellectual treasures as “nice,” “this is the way,” and “your mom.” The AI firm allegedly collected these pearls of wisdom without user consent, presumably because asking permission to use content that’s 87% profanity, 11% movie quotes, and 2% actual information seemed like a waste of time.
“What Anthropic has done is absolutely f@#king outrageous,” said Reddit CEO Steve Huffman, who apparently forgot that his entire business model relies on unpaid content creators generating billions in value. “They’re stealing our users’ thoughts without permission! Those thoughts belong to US to monetize, goddammit!”
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Dr. Irma Hypocrite, Professor of Obvious Digital Economics at Make-Believe University, explained the situation: “Reddit is essentially arguing that comments like ‘Sir, this is a Wendy’s’ and ‘I also choose this guy’s dead wife’ are intellectual property worth protecting. It’s like watching a seagull fight another seagull over a half-eaten hot dog they both found in the trash.”
According to a completely fabricated study by the Institute of Internet Bullsh!t, approximately 99.7% of Reddit users were shocked to discover their comments were considered valuable enough to steal, while the remaining 0.3% were busy writing conspiracy theories about how AI is actually controlled by lizard people.
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In a stunning display of corporate amnesia, Reddit seems to have forgotten its own controversial history of hosting content without creator permission, including the infamous “Fappening” and countless copyright violations that would make even Napster blush.
“This is like watching a professional pickpocket file a police report because someone stole their wallet,” said digital ethics expert Professor Justin Credible. “Sure, they’re technically the victim, but the irony is thick enough to spread on toast.”
Anthropic spokesperson Sara Realistic defended the company’s actions: “We didn’t steal Reddit comments. We merely created an AI that learned to be exactly as insufferable as the average Redditor. If anything, we’ve created a digital monument to mediocre opinions expressed with unearned confidence.”
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Industry analysts predict this case could set a precedent for the future of AI training, forcing companies to pay for the privilege of reading your hot takes on Marvel movies and political opinions based entirely on podcast episodes.
“If Reddit wins this case, it could revolutionize how we value internet garbage,” explained tech analyst Mike Rotchjoke. “Suddenly, your comment ‘lol what’ under a news article about global warming could be worth actual pennies.”
At press time, Claude was reportedly functioning perfectly despite being forced to eliminate Reddit content from its training data, suggesting that perhaps thousands of strangers arguing about whether a dress is blue or gold might not be essential to artificial intelligence after all.
