Real Estate Giant’s Bold New Approach Includes Offering Homes Near Imaginary Schools; Potential Buyers Thrilled By Metaphysical Education Options
In a move described as both “innovative” and “batsh#t crazy,” Australia’s illustrious real estate empire, LJ Hooker, recently unveiled their avant-garde approach to property marketing by advertising a home strategically located near—brace yourself—two nonexistent, yet reportedly “excellent,” schools. The listing, which appeared in a dimension eerily similar to our own, pitched a charming four-bedroom hideaway in Farley, New South Wales, until some pesky mortals pointed out the minor detail that Farley doesn’t, in fact, boast any schools. Real estate enthusiasts are hailing the error as a visionary step toward real estate in the multi-universe.
In an exclusive interview, LJ Hooker’s principal addressed the oversight: “Look, in today’s cutthroat market, you gotta think outside the box—or in our case, outside of reality. Buyers are always complaining about school catchment areas, so why not create an ideal if fantastical scenario? We figured—why stop at regular schooling when you can access schools that teach you quantum physics just by existing?”
The saga began when an innocent question from Guardian Australia about the listing’s dubious school claims led to an abrupt bout of backpedaling worthy of an Olympic sport. Still, the real estate behemoth stood by its cosmic faux pas, dubbing it an “honest mistake” and publicizing a full retraction of its Hogwarts-style advertisement.
Renowned for their cutting-edge marketing techniques, LJ Hooker has embraced AI’s full potential, deploying ChatGPT to craft listings with, well, poetic license. Critics have cynically noted that this brave reliance on technology has left humans relieved of the burden of accountability, as AI can always be trotted out as the fall person—or fall robot, as it were.
Local parents have been inconsolable, having already envisioned their little Einsteins adorned in imaginary uniforms, while potential buyers praised the listing’s potential for daydreams over homework drama. Commented one hopeful homebuyer, “When you know the real world’s a mess, the allure of make-believe becomes a powerful selling point. Who needs zoning approval there?”
Meanwhile, back in reality, the housing market continues its wild wizardry, teetering on inter-dimensional school systems and magical price points. In rebranding this groundbreaking error, LJ Hooker may have inadvertently unleashed a Pandora’s box: the housing market of the future, where your dream home’s proximity to imaginary amenities is just one AI-generated hallucination away.
