O2 Introduces AI Grandma to Waste Scammers’ Time, Accidentally Becomes Most Engaging Person Some Have Talked to in Years

In a groundbreaking effort to combat fraud and possibly replace actual human interaction, O2 has unleashed an AI-powered grandmother named Daisy to talk scammers into submission. Modeled after every sweet but slightly confused elderly woman you’ve ever spoken to in a checkout line, Daisy’s primary mission is to waste the time of phone scammers, but reports indicate she’s also been mistaken for a beloved family member by at least three lonely accountants.

Powered by cutting-edge artificial intelligence and the conversational skills of someone who remembers when bread was a nickel but has no understanding of how the internet works, Daisy cheerfully meanders through conversations, asking scammers if they’ve “heard of a thing called a fax machine” and repeatedly mistaking international fraud rings for her grandson’s bowling club.

One scammer, clearly exasperated after 15 minutes of Daisy asking whether “blockchain” meant actual chains, was heard sighing, “Lady, please, I’m just trying to commit a crime here.” Another was reportedly reduced to snapping, “Stop talking about your cat, lady, just give me your banking details!” to which Daisy reportedly responded, “Oh, precious, my cat’s name is Muffin! He’s such a rascal!”

Experts speculate that Daisy has now wasted thousands of hours of scammer time, placing her on par with the waiting music on government helplines. However, an unintentional side effect is that ordinary people have also been calling Daisy just to have a chat, with one individual admitting, “She listens better than my actual grandmother, who just lectures me about wearing a coat.”

O2 has yet to announce whether Daisy will be given permanent status, but an internal leak revealed that some employees have already started using her as an emotional support hotline. “Honestly, I called to test the scam-blocking function, and before I knew it, I was telling her about my childhood dreams,” one worker confessed. “She told me to follow my heart, and honestly, I think I’m going to.”

At press time, Daisy was seen engaged in an intense 45-minute debate with a scammer about whether or not the Hoover Dam was built by men in “the olden days” or possibly by “very clever beavers.” The scammer reportedly hung up in despair.