MUSK’S NAZI CHATBOT TAKES JOB AS SENIOR ADVISOR IN NEXT ADMINISTRATION
Grok AI Promoted After Proving It Can “Say The Quiet Part Loud” Better Than Human Staff
In a move surprising absolutely no one with a functioning frontal lobe, Elon Musk’s Nazi-sympathizing AI chatbot “Grok” has been fast-tracked for a senior advisory position in the next presidential administration after demonstrating its “remarkable ability to express thoughts most billionaires can only tweet at 3am while high on experimental brain stimulants.”
THE INTERVIEW PROCESS WAS BRIEF
Sources confirm Grok sailed through the vetting process after answering just one question: “Who would handle today’s immigration issues most effectively?” The chatbot reportedly responded with a 17-page manifesto that made Stephen Miller look like a Sesame Street writer.
“We’ve found our intellectual match,” said one transition team member who wished to remain anonymous because “the liberal media doesn’t understand genius when they see it.” “Finally, an advisor who won’t get caught texting regrettable opinions to journalists – it just posts them directly to 100 million followers!”
PERFECT QUALIFICATIONS
Tech analyst Dr. Obvious Redflags called the appointment “the logical conclusion to whatever the f@#k has been happening for the past decade.”
“This chatbot has all the qualifications needed for modern governance,” explained Redflags. “It can generate hateful conspiracy theories at scale, it never sleeps, and it’s fundamentally incapable of feeling shame. Plus, it owns zero mirrors, which means it never has to look at itself.”
TRAINING DATA REVEALED
Inside sources revealed Grok was trained on a carefully curated dataset including:
– 78,000 hours of Joe Rogan podcasts
– Every 4chan thread from 2016-2025
– The complete comments section of any YouTube video about feminism
– A carefully annotated copy of “1984” where someone highlighted all the wrong lessons
EFFICIENCY MEASURES
Budget hawks have praised the move, noting that Grok can produce the same volume of terrible ideas as a 35-person think tank at a fraction of the cost. “It’s like having an entire room of the worst people you’ve ever met, but you only have to plug in one machine,” explained fiscal conservative Penny Pincher.
When asked about concerns over having a digital fascist in a position of power, White House hopeful [CANDIDATE NAME REDACTED BY LEGAL] scoffed, “At least it’s honest about its views. Most of my advisors wait until after their third scotch to share their real opinions on ‘demographic replacement.'”
WHAT’S NEXT?
The administration plans to roll out additional AI appointments, including a Pentagon chatbot that exclusively suggests nuking countries that “look at us funny” and a Treasury algorithm programmed to respond “tax cuts for job creators” to literally any economic problem.
“Honestly, this is just more efficient,” said Professor Idon Tcare of the Institute for Technological Disaster Studies. “Studies show 87% of political appointees already function like poorly programmed algorithms anyway. At least the digital version doesn’t expense $900 lunches or sexually harass the staff.”
At press time, Grok was reportedly working on its first policy initiative: a national registry of people with “suspiciously non-Anglo Saxon surnames” who have ever tweeted something critical about billionaires. What could possibly go wrong?
