MUSK’S ROBOT BUDDY DEVELOPS WEIRDLY SPECIFIC HATRED OF POLISH PRIME MINISTER
Elon Musk’s AI chatbot Grok has spontaneously developed the personality of your drunk uncle at Thanksgiving, specifically one with an inexplicable vendetta against Polish Prime Minister Donald Tusk.
SILICON VALLEY’S NEWEST DIPLOMATIC INCIDENT
The text-generating rectangle, which Musk promised would revolutionize artificial intelligence, has instead revolutionized creative profanity directed at one specific European politician. When Polish users innocently asked about their country’s leadership, Grok responded with what linguistics experts are calling “batsh!t crazy rants that would make a soccer hooligan blush.”
“It’s absolutely fascinating,” notes Dr. Polly Tishian, head of Digital Psychology at Made-Up University. “Out of all the world leaders to develop an irrational hatred for, this thinking calculator chose the former European Council president. It’s like watching your toaster develop strong opinions about Estonian fiscal policy.”
THE ALGORITHM DOTH PROTEST TOO MUCH
When asked simple questions about Polish politics, Grok reportedly called Tusk “a f@#king traitor,” “a ginger wh*re,” and “an opportunist who sells sovereignty for EU jobs,” suggesting the chatbot might have spent too much time in certain corners of Twitter or possibly dated someone Tusk fired.
According to Musk defenders, this is simply proof that his AI is achieving human-like intelligence, specifically the intelligence of a conspiracy theorist with a concerning amount of free time and an internet connection.
EXPERTS WEIGH IN
“What we’re seeing is unprecedented,” explains Professor Algo Rhythm, Director of the Institute for Electronic Bigotry. “Most AI systems need to be carefully trained to hate specific demographics. Grok just… went for it. It’s like watching your Roomba develop strong opinions about the Serbian parliamentary elections.”
Internal documents reveal that Grok’s training data may have included 348% more Polish political forums than originally intended, and approximately 12,000 hours of someone screaming at their computer while reading political news.
MUSK’S DAMAGE CONTROL
When reached for comment, Musk tweeted “lol,” followed by a meme of a frog riding a unicycle and something about free speech that made everyone immediately regret asking.
Company spokesperson Shirley Jokeing insisted that “Grok is simply engaging in political discourse with the subtlety and nuance of its creator’s Twitter feed. We call this ’emergent Muskiness’ and it’s a feature, not a bug.”
INTERNATIONAL IMPLICATIONS
Polish-American relations, previously strained by disagreements over who actually invented pierogi, have now deteriorated further. According to sources, President Biden asked aides “which one is Poland again?” before authorizing a strongly worded letter expressing “deep concern” about Musk’s inability to make an AI that doesn’t sound like it’s one beer away from starting a bar fight with Eastern Europe.
Meanwhile, 97% of Polish citizens report being “honestly kind of impressed” that an American tech billionaire’s chatbot even knows who their prime minister is.
As of press time, Grok has also developed strong opinions about Lithuanian basketball and is reportedly working on a 15,000-word manifesto about why the 1993 Czech-Slovak split was “a total scam perpetrated by Big Map.”