Meta Heroically Saves Planet by Constructing 700,000-Acre Solar-Powered Data Center to Whisper Sweet Nothings to AI
In an act of environmental heroism so grand it deserves its own Marvel movie, Meta has announced yet another solar-powered data center project—because nothing says “saving the planet” like using unfathomable amounts of energy to train artificial intelligence to generate text messages your mom will think you wrote yourself.
Mark Zuckerberg, proud steward of humanity’s digital soul, remains steadfast in his quest to build AI that totally won’t become self-aware and make us obsolete. But such advancements don’t come cheap; they require enormous, power-hungry data centers the size of small nations. To distract the public from the image of these monolithic structures basically inhaling Earth’s electricity, Meta has proudly declared they will be solar-powered.
“Look, whenever AI starts plotting whatever futuristic takeover you’re afraid of, at least they’ll be doing it with the sun’s gentle, renewable embrace,” said Meta spokesperson Chad Gleeson, adjusting his Patagonia vest. “It’s like planting a tree after bulldozing a rainforest, or sipping organic kombucha while operating a coal-fired toaster.”
Critics have pointed out that Meta’s AI initiative is quickly devouring resources, requiring tens of billions in infrastructure. But Zuckerberg remains unfazed, insisting this is all in service of humanity. “AI will revolutionize how we work, how we live, and most importantly, how we argue with strangers on Facebook,” he said in a statement.
In addition to an ever-expanding network of data centers, Meta is reportedly exploring implementing AI in more personal aspects of life. One leak suggests they’re training an algorithm to generate lifelike “I’m sorry” texts, complete with semi-believable punctuation errors, for partners who forgot anniversaries.
As Meta continues its quest to expand the limits of artificial intelligence and human patience, consumers can find solace in knowing that whenever an AI-powered chatbot fails to understand the simplest of questions, at least it’s doing so with 100% renewable energy.
