More Garbage, Less Algorithm: Music Streaming CEO Heroically Promises to Let Users Drown in Their Own Terrible Taste

In what can only be described as a bold stand for musical democracy, Deezer’s CEO, Alexis Lanternier, has vowed to let users make their own terrible choices rather than being subtly manipulated by an algorithm with at least a passing sense of taste.

This revolutionary idea, which essentially boils down to “Let people listen to whatever the hell they want,” is Lanternier’s grand strategy to compete with industry giants like Spotify and Apple Music.

“I believe in the power of human curation,” Lanternier declared. “If someone wants to ruin their day by listening to nothing but 2006 emo hits and whale noises, who am I to stop them?”

His vision includes prioritizing real musicians over, presumably, artificial ones—perhaps a dig at the growing trend of AI-generated songs that threaten to dominate playlists. “We’re making sure the artists people love actually get rewarded,” he added, hinting at Deezer’s plan to steer money toward actual humans and not corporate playlists assembled in a boardroom by a guy named Chad.

Lanternier himself is no stranger to chaotic music choices. His Deezer profile is host to a battle between Creedence Clearwater Revival, French rapper Jul, and the *Aladdin* soundtrack—courtesy of his kids hijacking his account. Analysts say this mixture of nostalgic rock, regional hip-hop, and Disney bangers is a perfect metaphor for Deezer itself: a streaming service that refuses to commit to a single identity but is still hanging in there.

The move also reflects a plea to resuscitate human dignity in music discovery. “People should be able to scroll aimlessly for hours trying to find their next obsession rather than having an algorithm tailor it perfectly for them,” Lanternier insisted, as though he were leading an uprising against oppression instead of just tweaking a playlist feature.

Users will now have the power to decide whether they want to support their favorite artists or funnel more money toward the same ten pop stars who already own five mansions each. Whether this will revolutionize the industry or just result in people listening to the same damn cringeworthy breakup song in loops remains to be seen.