Labour Defends Deepfake Porn Creators, Citing Their “Right To Be Absolute Creeps”
In an inspiring show of spine-melting indecision, the UK Labour Party has bravely stood up for what truly matters—ensuring that deepfake porn creators can continue ruining lives with minimal consequences. Because apparently, being a spineless jellyfish is now a guiding political principle.
Despite deepfake pornography being a recognized digital scourge that haunts countless victims, ruining reputations and mental health, Labour decided that the real crime would be inconveniencing the people making them. Truly, a bold stance for the proudly “tough-on-crime” party.
“It’s about striking a balance,” explained one unnamed Labour minister, presumably while shrugging and scrolling through their own search history. “Yes, these AI-generated images devastate people’s lives, but we must consider the human rights of keyboard goblins who thrive on ruining women’s existence for fun. Think of their hobbies!”
Critics were quick to slam the decision, pointing out that making deepfake porn should be treated like any other form of harassment—because it is. “When thousands of these doctored images are pumped out each week, wrecking lives and careers, perhaps the government should, I don’t know, do something about it?” asked one exasperated lawyer, grasping their forehead in despair.
In response, Labour promptly issued a statement clarifying that while they do find deepfake porn *troubling*, they’re also deeply committed to remaining utterly ineffective. “Our approach is one of nuance,” an official statement read, which is politician-speak for, “We’re too scared to pick a side, please stop yelling at us.”
Keir Starmer, known for his charisma rivaling that of an office chair, had recently encouraged his team to be “disruptors.” Naturally, his ministers took this advice and promptly disrupted the one bill that actually mattered to the safety of women. A bold interpretation, truly.
Meanwhile, victims of deepfake abuse have been advised to simply “log off” or, better yet, “not have a face,” since that seems to be the government’s best strategy for dealing with digital crime.
And so, the message is clear: If you’re a woman dealing with deepfake harassment, enjoy the nightmare. And if you’re the creep making them? Well, apparently, Labour’s got your back.
