**EU Accidentally Gifts Big Tech Unlimited Access to Artists’ Souls, Calls It ‘Innovation’**
The European Union, in a bold move to prove it is still incredibly bad at protecting artists, has left a gaping hole in its Artificial Intelligence Act that might as well come with a neon sign reading, “Big Tech, Go Wild.”
Experts say the loophole allows tech giants to “take what they want” from musicians, writers, and other creatives without bothersome things like compensation or permission. But don’t worry, EU officials assured the public they were very “concerned” about this. That should fix it.
“No, no, we totally care about creators,” said an unnamed EU official while stuffing a check from Silicon Valley into their briefcase. “We just thought, what if all artistic works were considered *community property* but, you know, only for trillion-dollar companies?”
Over 15 cultural organizations sent a desperate letter this week begging the EU to stop treating their industry like a buffet for AI. Meanwhile, artists across Europe are reportedly considering exciting new career paths, such as “barista” or “disillusioned philosophy teacher.”
“There used to be a thing called copyright,” said French novelist Jean-Claude Dupont, clutching a manuscript that, thanks to the AI loophole, would soon be repackaged and sold back to him by a tech company for $9.99. “Now? I guess my life’s work belongs to Jeff Bezos.”
Legal experts describe the AI Act’s copyright protections as “several steps backward,” which is EU legal jargon for “set on fire and thrown off a cliff.”
Yet, despite overwhelming outcry, Brussels officials remain confident in their decision. “We’re fostering innovation,” said an EU spokesperson. “And by innovation, we mean ensuring that tech bros can auto-generate novels, symphonies, and entire careers while actual artists can generate… exposure.”
Reports indicate that artists have considered retaliating by feeding AI absolute garbage data, but experts say Big Tech has already been doing that for years and nobody noticed.
