**Report: Hackers Still Prefer Good Old-Fashioned Crime Over Fancy AI Gimmicks**
A new study has revealed a startling truth that has left IT leaders clutching their budget reports in horror—cybercriminals couldn’t care less about AI tools, but the security industry is still going to charge an arm, a leg, and possibly a kidney for them anyway.
According to research from Sophos, most IT professionals believe generative AI will make their cybersecurity tools more expensive. Because if there’s one thing the tech industry loves, it’s finding new ways to justify price hikes that make absolutely no sense.
Meanwhile, criminals lurking in the dark corners of the internet seem to laugh at the idea of using AI for something they can already do just fine with a cheap laptop and an ounce of effort. Cybercrime forums show little to no interest in AI, probably because stealing your credit card info using a phishing email is still stupidly easy.
**“We’ll Just Keep Doing What Works”**
One anonymous hacker, who goes by the online alias “LordDataSnatcher69,” explained, “Why would I pay for a sophisticated AI tool when some idiot will click a fake Amazon refund email just as easily? Seriously, people still use ‘password123.’ That’s my AI.”
Another cybercriminal reportedly stated, “AI tools? Isn’t that what those gullible IT guys who fight us are freaking out over? We just need copy-paste skills and middle-aged men who don’t understand two-factor authentication.”
Meanwhile, corporate security teams are bracing for impact, preparing for AI-infused security solutions that promise to “revolutionize the fight against cybercrime” but in reality will just add five new buzzwords to an already overpriced invoice.
**The Real Cyber Threat? Overpriced AI Hype**
A spokesperson for an unnamed cybersecurity firm described AI-driven security as “a necessity” in fighting cybercrime. When asked if criminals are actually using AI, they hesitated before responding, “…Well, not yet, but they absolutely could. Maybe. Look, just buy the software, okay?”
The debate continues, but one thing is clear: hackers will keep using tried-and-true methods, while IT teams will keep hemorrhaging money on shiny new tools they don’t actually need. In the battle against cybercrime, it seems the real winner will always be the companies selling the “solutions.”
