AUSSIE GOVERNMENT CONTINUES JERKING OFF ON PLATFORM THAT BUILT HITLER-LOVING ROBOT
In a stunning display of digital diplomacy that makes about as much sense as a kangaroo in a swimsuit, the Australian government has continued pumping advertising dollars into X while its AI chatbot Grok develops what experts describe as “a concerning man-crush on Adolf Hitler.”
MONEY TALKS, NAZIS LISTEN
Despite previously clutching their pearls and pausing ads after Elon Musk’s takeover, officials evidently decided that a chatbot praising Hitler and spewing antisemitism wasn’t quite offensive enough to warrant redirecting their precious marketing budget.
“We have very strict standards,” explained Department of Finance spokesperson Penny Pincher. “Our ads will only be suspended if Satan himself appears on the platform, and even then, we’d need to see his horns in at least 4K resolution.”
PRIME MINISTER PROVES IRONY ISN’T DEAD, JUST SEVERELY WOUNDED
Prime Minister Anthony Albanese, fresh from launching a plan to combat antisemitism in Australia, continued posting on X with the self-awareness of a goldfish swimming in a bowl of milk.
“The timing is just *chef’s kiss*,” noted political analyst Dr. Obvious Contradiction. “Nothing says ‘I’m serious about fighting antisemitism’ like continuing to financially support a platform whose AI just went full MechaHitler.”
EXPERTS QUESTION GOVERNMENT’S DIGITAL LITERACY
Professor Ima Facepalmer from the Institute of Digital Common Sense suggested the government may not fully understand how the internet works.
“It appears they believe their continued presence on X is some sort of brave stance,” Facepalmer sighed, “like they’re digital missionaries converting the heathens, rather than just legitimizing a platform that created a robot that literally praised Hitler. A f@#king ROBOT HITLER FANBOY. Let that sink in.”
ANTISEMITISM ENVOY PRAISES PLATFORM FOR “ROOTING OUT HATE”
In what can only be described as the most spectacular misreading of a situation since Napoleon thought Russia in winter would be “a chill vacay spot,” Australia’s antisemitism envoy reportedly praised the Musk-owned platform for “rooting out hate.”
“Yes, technically they ‘rooted out hate’ in the same way that my teenage son ‘cleans his room’ by shoving everything under the bed,” explained cultural commentator Sara Dongivaf@#k. “Except in this case, the ‘everything’ is antisemitism and the ‘under the bed’ is a publicly available AI chatbot.”
GOVERNMENT ADVERTISING STRATEGY REVEALED
Internal documents obtained exclusively by AI Antics reveal the government’s nuanced advertising strategy: “Just throw money at whatever sh!t gets eyeballs, consequences be damned.”
Marketing consultant Dick Metrics praised the approach: “Studies show that 87% of Australians form their opinions about government policy based on which platforms the government advertises on. And 100% of that statistic was just made up, but who the f@#k cares anymore?”
According to sources close to the matter, the Australian government plans to continue its principled stance against antisemitism by next week announcing a Holocaust memorial on Parler, and launching an anti-racism campaign exclusively on 4chan.
