Google Unveils Veo and Imagen 3, Ensures We Never Have to Engage Our Brains Again
In a remarkable feat of technological wizardry, Google has boldly announced the latest addition to its arsenal of brainpower replacements: Veo and Imagen 3. In an era where thinking for oneself is clearly overrated, Google steps up to ensure we never mistakenly attempt to process information the old-fashioned way.
Veo, which is currently undergoing private preview—you know, because the world isn’t quite ready for its genius—is set to revolutionize the way we avoid thinking. “Imagine a world where you never have to imagine,” said Next-Level Tech Evader, Ima Botsalot, at Google’s Grand Hermit Society Launch. “Veo is here to take the mental grunt work out of your day. Just plug in, zone out, and let Veo do the thinking—or something resembling it—for you.”
Meanwhile, Imagen 3 is set for general availability next week and promises to make actual creativity obsolete. Clearly targeting humanity’s incurable urge to draw stick figures despite our phones and computers being smarter than us, Imagen 3 ensures that you never have to lift a crayon again. “People have been imagining things for too long,” boasted Software Sibling Rivalry Director, Artie Ficial. “With Imagen 3, we’re putting a stop to that nonsense. Who needs personal creativity when you can have corporate-approved pretty pictures?”
The tech mammoth’s announcements have left many awestruck, and some merely dumbstruck. Critics, however, aren’t as amused. “What’s next? An app that makes being socially acceptable obsolete?” grumbled frequent social interaction critic, Chatty McMisfit.
But fans are eagerly waiting to hand over their last remnants of autonomous thought. “It’s exhausting wondering what’s next on my social media feed,” confessed Carry O. Verload, professional trend follower and Google spokesperson. “I can’t wait for that AI tap on the shoulder telling me what’s trending before I even know myself.”
So, brace yourself, ye mortals! Google’s AI platform is coming to vacuum up the remnants of free thought with the charm only robotic overlords can manage. And if all else fails, you can always ask Veo why you stopped daydreaming about that personal hobby you used to enjoy. Oh wait, it’s likely already thinking about that for you.
