Google Shockingly Gives Away Its Gemini AI While OpenAI Decides It’s Time To Drain Our Wallets
In a move that has left tech enthusiasts and budget-conscious souls flabbergasted, Google has once again topped the Chatbot Arena leaderboard with its new Gemini model—an AI so fabulous, it seems like it was built by unicorns and powered by stardust. And, hold onto your hats, folks: it remains absolutely free. Yes, you heard that right. The model, Gemini-exp-1206, is available to all, making Google the Robin Hood of artificial intelligence, stealing ranks from corporations and gifting intellectual riches to the digitally impoverished.
The announcement comes at a time when OpenAI, feeling either overly ambitious or extremely broke, decided that their services are worthy of $200 per month after previously teasing us with just $20. It’s as if they woke up one day and realized, “Hey, why not charge people an arm and a leg for neural convenience?” Meanwhile, Google flipped their glowing halo into full angelic mode, allowing access to a model that not only processes images but also video content—presumably so advanced it might just predict the end of the world through cat memes.
A Google spokesperson, whose identity we’ll protect by calling them “Nostradamus of Silicon Valley,” was hypothetically quoted saying, “We believe in making AI accessible to all—because who wouldn’t want to discuss Shakespeare with their smartphone for free?”
Meanwhile, Mark Zuckerberg’s Meta has launched Llama 3.3, the supposed He-Man of tech models—faster, cheaper, and probably coming soon to a bargain bin near you. In a surprising turn of events, Meta’s models are actually attracting swarms of users, proving that more people are into digital llamas than we’d like to admit. Zuckerberg, who appears to be eyeing the throne of AI dominance, expressed plans of building a new data center in Louisiana, because where else would you want to store your digital livestock?
In another universe called reality, OpenAI’s Chad Nelson showed off some fancy demo footage. But rumor has it, the folks at OpenAI are also planning to “unveil” a new GPT-4.5 model soon. Apparently, it’s like the sequel no one asked for but we’ll all pretend we need, just to justify the amount spent on this digital wizard.
Finally, Elon Musk briefly teased the world with a photorealistic image generator that could potentially remake the earth in high resolution before breakfast. But like a cruel game of peek-a-boo, the feature vanished quicker than our interest in social media. Thanks, Elon.
And so, the great AI wars continue—where prices soar, models amaze, and our tech overlords laugh all the way to the cloud.
