**Google AI Predicts Weather So Accurately, Meteorologists Now Invest In Crystal Balls**
In a staggering turn of events that has likely shaken the atmospheric robes of weather gods, Google’s DeepMind has created an AI weather forecaster that not only predicts tomorrow’s weather but also the fate of your weekend BBQ. Dubbed GenCast, this robotic Nostradamus leaves current leading systems like the ENS weeping in the rain 97% of the time, as it predicts the future up to 15 days in advance.
GenCast has reportedly been tested in more than 1,320 weather scenarios, ranging from tropical cyclones to heatwaves to the disturbingly existential dread of asking, “Will it rain on my wedding day?”
“It’s like we handed weather forecasting over to Zeus,” said Ilan Price, a research scientist at Google DeepMind, while adjusting his water-resisting lab coat. “We’ve reached a point where Siri can outsmart your grandfather’s knee pain when predicting a storm.”
The new AI model has prompted traditional meteorologists to rethink their career choices, with many now considering returning to more reliable fortune-telling methods, like crystal ball gazing and tarot card reading. “I just registered for a course in divination,” confessed Marty Cloudwhisper, a seasoned weather forecaster. “At least crystal balls don’t tell you you’re wrong 97% of the time.”
Critics of the technology claim such advancement may lead to a dystopian world where the weather itself might rebel against its robotic overlords. “Imagine a future where the clouds say, ‘Screw it, I’m not raining today,’ just to spite the AI,” speculated Tina Stormcrow, an avid anti-AI weather activist.
Despite these concerns, Google DeepMind plans on expanding GenCast’s applications. Early next year, the AI is expected to predict not only weather patterns but also traffic jams, break-ups, and the exact moment you’ll run out of milk. There’s also talk of a GenCast edition capable of predicting when the next Marvel movie will actually deliver without having you check Rotten Tomatoes.
In the meantime, meteorologists across the globe are united in a new mantra: “We’re not outdated, we’re just retro.”
