FORMER SUNAK AIDE DISCOVERS “REVOLVING DOOR” ACTUALLY JUST GIANT MONEY FUNNEL
Tory Peer Who Previously Claimed ‘AI Scary’ Now Thinks ‘AI Salary’ Even Better
In what experts are calling “the least surprising career move since Benedict Arnold’s job application to the British Army,” former Rishi Sunak chief of staff Liam Booth-Smith has landed a cushy “external affairs” position at AI firm Anthropic, which he conveniently met while working at No 10.
THE CIRCLE OF POLITICAL LIFE
Sources confirm Booth-Smith’s job responsibilities will include “explaining to government officials exactly how much money they can make once they leave government,” and “making sure no pesky regulations get in the way of our future digtial overlords thoughtful digital assistants.”
The memorandum of understanding between Anthropic and the government was reportedly signed in invisible ink that only becomes visible after leaving public office and joining a private company’s payroll.
“This is a textbook example of ethical public service,” explained Professor Blatant Corruption, chair of Revolving Door Studies at Cash-For-Access University. “First, you help craft policies that benefit tech companies. Then, you accept a lordship. Finally, you get hired by those same tech companies. It’s a tradition as old as democracy itself, which coincidentally, may not survive this tradition.”
NETWORKING OR NOT WORKING?
According to anonymous Downing Street sources, Booth-Smith’s interview process consisted entirely of him saying “Remember me? From the government? With all the access and influence?” approximately 37 times while winking aggressively.
“We’re thrilled to welcome Lord Booth-Smith to our team,” said Anthropic CEO Convenient Hiring. “His expertise in… um… well, honestly, we just need someone who knows which government officials are most easily influenced. And boy, does he have a list!”
A survey of British citizens found that 97.3% responded to the news with variations of “no f@#king sh!t,” while the remaining 2.7% were too busy applying for jobs at companies they currently regulate to respond.
SURPRISINGLY LEGAL
“This type of behavior is completely above board according to rules I personally helped write,” explained Sir Ethics Watchdog, chairman of the Committee on Standards in Public Life While Preparing For Private Sector Employment.
The House of Lords ethics committee reportedly spent 14 seconds reviewing Booth-Smith’s new position before concluding “sounds profitable, good for him!”
When reached for comment, Booth-Smith insisted there was “absolutely no conflict of interest” while simultaneously texting former colleagues “hey mate fancy a drink to discuss my client’s totally cool and not at all concerning products?”
In related news, Anthropic has unveiled its latest AI product feature: “LobbyistGPT,” which can automatically detect which former government officials are available for hire and generate employment offers tailored to their regulatory knowledge.
At press time, sources confirmed Booth-Smith was already updating his LinkedIn profile to include “helping computers replace humans” as a key skill, right above “knowing which palms to grease.”
