**Elon Musk Wants to Own OpenAI, Because Apparently He Hasn’t Ruined Enough Things Yet**
Billionaire, troublemaker, and noted Twitter rebrander Elon Musk has a new obsession: taking control of OpenAI, the company he co-founded but then dramatically broke up with like a scorned ex who never really moved on.
Musk, whose track record includes turning Twitter into a glitch-ridden meme factory and making every Tesla owner explain why their doors won’t open in the cold, isn’t exactly thrilled that Sam Altman, his former business partner, has been running OpenAI without him. Apparently, watching Altman succeed without his “genius” is too much to bear.
Sources close to the situation—probably Musk’s own tweets—suggest Musk is still bitter that OpenAI actually tries to make money. “Open? How can it be OPEN if it’s making MONEY?” Musk screamed into the void, seemingly unaware that charging people for AI access is exactly how capitalism works, a system he himself exploits on a daily basis.
According to tech insiders, Musk’s move to reclaim OpenAI is completely altruistic and not at all driven by his insatiable need for control. “Elon just wants to steer AI in the right direction,” said an anonymous X employee, visibly trembling. “And by right, we mean… whatever direction makes him feel like God.”
Meanwhile, conspiracy theorists (read: people who are paying attention) worry that Musk’s AI power grab could align him with Donald Trump, because if there’s anything more terrifying than AI taking over humanity, it’s Musk and Trump having a late-night brainstorming session together. “We love Elon,” Trump probably said in some alternate timeline. “Very smart guy, great guy. He tells AI what to do, like I tell my hair what to do.”
As of now, OpenAI remains under Altman’s leadership, though Musk is likely plotting his next move in a secret underground lair or, more realistically, in a Twitter rant at 3 AM. One thing is certain: if Musk does get control of OpenAI, expect the chatbot to start ending every response with “Buy a Tesla” and refusing to function unless you subscribe to X Premium.
