DESPERATE TECH BROS PIVOT TO “AI SPECIALISTS” AFTER REALIZING GRANDMAS CAN PROMPT CHATGPT JUST FINE
In a shocking twist that absolutely no one saw coming except literally everyone, the much-hyped career of “prompt engineering” has collapsed faster than a tech CEO’s principles during a congressional hearing. Companies are now frantically hiring for positions they just made up like “AI Ethicists” and “Machine Learning Wranglers” after discovering that the core skill of prompt engineering—typing a coherent sentence—is something most humans mastered in third grade.
THE RISE AND SPECTACULAR FACE-PLANT OF PROMPT ENGINEERING
Just eighteen months ago, tech influencers promised that mastering the arcane art of typing “please make this sound professional” would lead to six-figure salaries. Thousands of LinkedIn bros quickly updated their profiles to “Prompt Engineer / Thought Leader / Coffee Enthusiast” and began charging $499 for courses teaching people how to ask ChatGPT nicely for things.
“We genuinely thought asking an AI to ‘write a catchy marketing email’ was a skill worth $250,000 a year,” admitted Microsoft HR Director Stephanie Blankman. “Then we watched my 83-year-old grandmother get better results by typing ‘write this again but don’t sound like such an a$$hole’ and we had to rethink our entire hiring strategy.”
ACTUAL F@#KING SKILLS REQUIRED AGAIN, INDUSTRY DEVASTATED
Companies are now desperately seeking people with actual technical abilities, causing widespread panic among those who invested in “Prompt Engineering Master Class” certificates.
Dr. Obvious Cashgrab, founder of the now-defunct Prompt Academy, defended the field from his newly purchased yacht: “Prompt engineering is still valuable! It’s just evolving into something requiring actual knowledge, which honestly wasn’t part of my business model.”
Industry analysts report that 94.7% of self-proclaimed prompt engineers are currently Googling “what is Python” and “can you learn data science in 3 hours.”
SILICON VALLEY INVENTS NEW BULLSH!T JOB TITLES
Tech firms are now advertising for positions like “AI Data Specialist,” “AI Security Expert,” and “Neural Network Nutritionist,” causing confusion about what these roles actually entail.
“As an AI Data Specialist, I ensure our algorithms aren’t trained exclusively on Reddit posts written by 14-year-old edgelords,” explained Tara McKenzie of TechDynamic Solutions. “It’s actually important work, which is why it pays less than prompt engineering did.”
Meanwhile, companies are discovering that effective AI implementation requires understanding both technology AND the business problems it solves, a revelation that has caused at least 17 venture capitalists to spontaneously combust.
AREA MAN STILL CONVINCED “VIBES CURATOR” IS THE FUTURE
Despite overwhelming evidence that actually useful AI jobs require technical skills, discipline, and education, 28-year-old Chet Huntington remains committed to his vision.
“The problem with prompt engineering wasn’t the concept, it was the execution,” insisted Huntington from his parents’ basement, where he’s developing a course titled ‘AI Vibes Curation: The Next Billion-Dollar Skill.’ “People don’t just want to tell AI what to do; they want to shape its entire aesthetic energy field.”
Professor Reality Check from the Institute of No Sh!t Studies disagrees: “The next in-demand AI specialists will need to understand machine learning architecture, data governance, and ethical frameworks. But sure, ‘vibes curation’ might be huge if the job market is suddenly overtaken by Burning Man attendees.”
At press time, 73% of former prompt engineers were reportedly updating their resumes to include “proficient in asking ChatGPT how to code” as a technical skill, while simultaneously enrolling in community college computer science classes under assumed names to avoid embarrassment.
