DESPERATE ACTORS LAUNCH “MISINFORMATION” SHOW AFTER FAILING TO CONVINCE PUBLIC THEY’RE STILL RELEVANT
In a last-ditch effort to prove they haven’t been replaced by CGI, British actors Toby Jones and Meera Syal are hiding in a South London warehouse pretending to fight “misinformation” while ironically spreading their own.
THE BLIND LEADING THE BLIND
The immersive theatrical experience, described by organizers as “half show, half social campaign, full desperation,” invites audiences to pay actual money to watch middle-aged actors explain how the internet works.
“We’re really tackling the big issues here,” said Jones, a man whose most convincing role to date was playing a human thumb in several Harry Potter films. “People might think this is just another way for actors to feel important during a writers’ strike, but they’d be absolutely f@#king right.”
GEORGIA ON THEIR MIND (THE COUNTRY, NOT THE STATE, YOU UNCULTURED SWINE)
The production is spearheaded by a woman who once worked at Georgian television station Imedi, where she apparently learned that people sometimes lie on television, a shocking revelation that took her only 47 years to discover.
“What we’re doing is revolutionary,” claimed Dr. Obvi Ouslie, the show’s theatrical consultant. “No one has ever thought to combine insufferable actors with heavy-handed political messaging before, except for literally every awards show since 2016.”
AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION REACHES NEW LEVELS OF HELL
Visitors to the warehouse will reportedly be subjected to three hours of interactive experiences, including being lectured about their social media habits by people who still use Facebook and having their phones confiscated so they can’t tweet about how much the show sucks.
“We want people to truly feel what it’s like to be misinformed,” explained producer Hugh Jassumption. “That’s why we’re charging £75 for tickets while promising an ‘underground movement’ that’s actually just a bunch of wealthy actors in a rented warehouse.”
LOCAL MAN UNIMPRESSED
“I thought I was going to see something about aliens,” said disappointed attendee Dave Normalguy, 42. “Instead I got trapped in some weird cult where Toby Jones kept screaming ‘THINK FOR YOURSELF’ directly into my face while I desperately tried to find the exit.”
According to entirely made-up statistics, 98.7% of audience members reported feeling “deeply uncomfortable” and “slightly moist” during the performance, with 43.2% questioning whether they should have just stayed home and watched Netflix.
EXPERTS WEIGH IN
“What these actors don’t understand is that the best way to fight misinformation is definitely not through weird theatre that only three journalists and someone’s mom will attend,” said Professor Reali T. Check of the Institute for Stating The Bloody Obvious.
At press time, organizers were reportedly considering adding a Russian disinformation segment where audience members have to determine which cast member is secretly Vladimir Putin in a Meera Syal costume.
The show runs until the moment everyone involved realizes they’ve made a terrible mistake, or funding runs out, whichever comes first.
