Chinese AI Firm Accidentally Leaks Chat Histories, Immediately Regrets Letting Internet See What People Type at 3 AM

In a shocking twist that surprised absolutely no one with an ounce of common sense, the Chinese artificial intelligence firm DeepSeek has hurriedly locked down public access to a database that, in true internet fashion, contained every shameful, unhinged, and utterly nonsensical late-night chat history imaginable.

The database, which was apparently just floating around on the internet like a lost balloon, was discovered by security researchers at Wiz Research. “It was just… there,” said one security analyst, rubbing his temples. “Like, completely open. I’m talking ‘someone’s grandpa setting up Wi-Fi for the first time’ levels of unsecured. It was both amazing and horrifying.”

The leak revealed a range of deeply concerning and sometimes downright deranged conversations users had been feeding DeepSeek’s AI—everything from philosophical debates on the meaning of life to desperate attempts at rekindling long-dead relationships to extremely specific, legally questionable business inquiries.

“It’s one thing to suspect that people ask AI the dumbest s#&% possible,” said one Wiz researcher, “but it’s another thing to see it confirmed in real-time. I read at least 47 variations of ‘How do I make my dog respect me?’ and one guy just kept typing ‘bro?’ over and over again with no follow-up.”

Once alerted to the issue, DeepSeek did what any responsible tech company would do—shut everything down, pretend it never happened, and release a vague statement emphasizing their commitment to “security and privacy,” as if that wasn’t already supposed to be a thing they cared about.

“Oops,” said a DeepSeek representative in a statement that was a bit too real for comfort. “We realize that having a publicly accessible database of millions of user queries was not, in retrospect, the best idea. We sincerely apologize, mostly for exposing your weird 3 AM questions to the world.”

Tech experts say that the breach serves as yet another reminder that AI companies have the same security measures as a wet paper bag, and that everyone should probably stop typing their deepest, darkest thoughts into chatbots that store everything forever.

“This is the internet,” said one security specialist. “The rule is simple: If you don’t want someone to see it, don’t type it. Not even to an AI. Especially not to an AI.”

As for DeepSeek, they’ve promised to take “additional protective measures,” which likely means nothing in practical terms. The real lesson, however, is for the users: maybe try journaling instead of trauma-dumping into an AI that will eventually spill your secrets to a group of confused cybersecurity researchers.