CELEB DEEPFAKES SCAM VICTIMS OUT OF MILLIONS; SHOCKED PUBLIC STILL SOMEHOW TRUSTS FACEBOOK ADS FEATURING SUSPICIOUSLY WEALTHY-LOOKING CELEBRITIES
In what experts are calling “the least surprising f@#king news since water was declared wet,” scammers operating from Georgia have successfully convinced thousands of people that celebrities are DESPERATE to share get-rich-quick schemes with random strangers on the internet.
MONEY EXPERTS REACT WITH COMPLETE DISBELIEF
“I just can’t understand how anyone could possibly believe that Martin Lewis, a man who has spent his entire career warning people about scams, would suddenly decide to promote questionable crypto schemes on Facebook,” said financial analyst Dr. Gull I. Bull. “Next you’ll tell me people are giving their bank details to Nigerian princes.”
The Georgian scam operation has netted a staggering $35 million from victims across the UK, Europe, and Canada, proving once again that a fool and their money are statistically separated at a rate of approximately $5,833 per minute.
GOVERNMENT PROMISES ACTION THREE YEARS AFTER PROMISING ACTION
The UK government, which promised to outlaw such scam advertisements three years ago, has responded by promising to outlaw such scam advertisements, but this time with EXTRA PROMISE POWER.
“We’re absolutely committed to stopping these criminals,” explained Minister for Doing Absolutely Nothing About Fraud, Sir Procrastinate McDelayson. “Just as soon as we finish this other important business of arguing about whether fish have feelings.”
DEEPFAKE TECHNOLOGY CONTINUES TO BAFFLE PEOPLE WHO STILL PRINT THEIR EMAILS
The scammers employed deepfake videos featuring UK celebrities like Martin Lewis, Zoe Ball, and Ben Fogle, targeting primarily people who think “fact-checking” is what you do at a hotel checkout counter.
Technical expert Professor Obvious Observation noted, “What’s truly remarkable is that these videos often feature celebrities with slightly warped faces talking like they’ve had six martinis before noon, yet people still think, ‘Yes, this seems legitimate enough to invest my life savings.'”
VICTIMS REPORT DEVASTATING FINANCIAL LOSSES
Among those scammed was 68-year-old Gerald Trusting from Sussex, who lost £50,000 after seeing a Facebook ad featuring what appeared to be Ben Fogle enthusiastically endorsing “CryptoRevolutionNowCoin.”
“I thought to myself, well if the bloke who rows boats and climbs mountains thinks this is a good investment, who am I to question it?” Trusting explained. “In retrospect, I should have been suspicious when ‘Ben Fogle’ told me to ‘invest fast before the government bans this wealth secret,’ but hindsight is 20/20.”
FACEBOOK AND GOOGLE CONTINUE TRADITION OF ABSOLUTE MINIMAL EFFORT
When asked for comment, a spokesperson for Meta released a statement saying, “We take the safety of our users very seriously,” before immediately approving seventeen more fake celebrity investment ads.
A Google representative added, “We have robust systems in place to detect scams,” causing three employees to rupture their spleens from suppressed laughter.
SCAMMERS REPORTEDLY STILL CALLING VICTIMS
Sources confirm the Georgian scammers are still actively contacting victims, reportedly opening conversations with the subtle line: “Hello, I am definitely not a scammer calling from Georgia, but rather a legitimate investment broker calling from London, as you can tell by my perfect British accent and knowledge of British things like tea, crumpets, and the Queen’s corgis.”
According to a survey conducted by the Institute of Sh!t Everyone Already Knows, 97% of people claim they would never fall for such obvious scams, yet somehow $35 million has vanished faster than government promises to regulate social media.
At press time, sources confirmed that several readers of this article immediately checked Facebook to see if Martin Lewis really IS giving away free Bitcoin after all.
