**Hackers Shockingly Discover That People Will Click on Literally Anything**
In a groundbreaking development that surprises absolutely no one, cyber security firm Darktrace has reported that 96% of phishing attacks this year exploited trusted domains such as SharePoint and Zoom Docs. Apparently, hackers have finally figured out that people will open literally any link as long as it looks vaguely professional.
Darktrace researchers claimed they uncovered this astonishing revelation after finding a measly 30.4 million phishing emails last year—because, you know, one or two might have been an accident. “It’s incredible,” said cyber security expert Thomas Gregson, shaking his head in disbelief. “We keep telling people not to click random links, and yet, if you slap a Microsoft logo on it, they’ll hand over their bank info like it’s a damn customer service survey.”
Phishing tactics have evolved past the classic “Nigerian prince” emails into something much more sinister—well-designed emails that look *exactly* like the real deal. “Gone are the days of comically bad grammar and sketchy Hotmail addresses,” explained Gregson. “Now, hackers are just sending out what look like regular corporate emails, and guess what? No one questions them. We’re doomed.”
The report also highlighted society’s ever-growing inability to think critically for more than three seconds. “If it has a company logo, people just assume it’s real,” said Lisa Thornton, who admitted to entering her work credentials *twice* before realizing the Zoom meeting invite was actually stealing her identity. “I just thought IT was being proactive.”
Microsoft, Google, and Dropbox have all responded the same way: by *absolutely* doing nothing helpful. “We urge users to remain vigilant,” said one Google spokesperson, who totally plans on ignoring this problem until, you know, it crashes an entire financial system or something.
Meanwhile, cybercriminals have expressed their gratitude for everyone’s continued lack of skepticism. “Honestly, we thought people would wise up by now,” admitted Dmitri, a hacker who has successfully stolen more W-2s than he can count. “But nope. You put ‘URGENT: Payroll Info’ in the subject line, and boom—instant access.”
As phishing attacks grow more sophisticated, experts suggest taking extreme precaution. “Just delete all emails,” Darktrace advised. “If your boss really needs you, they’ll find you. Probably.”
