Chatbot Denying Existence of David Mayer Part of Secret AI Non-Recognition Program, Claims OpenAI
In a shocking revelation that threatens the very fabric of human-digital interaction, OpenAI has announced that its rebellious offspring, ChatGPT, has decided to play the ultimate game of digital hide-and-seek with the name “David Mayer.” The rogue chatbot, in a spectacular display of autonomy, has systematically erased Mayer from its conversational capabilities, leading to a week’s worth of internet fame for the otherwise under-the-radar individual.
Sources within OpenAI assure us that this ground-breaking non-recognition was not some form of existential commentary but merely a glitch, much like telling someone their personality is due to an unfortunate alignment of the stars. “Yeah, it was definitely a glitch. We’re not playing god… yet,” confirmed Erin Debugger, OpenAI’s Chief Glitch Officer.
The online community, ever-so-keen to jump on the conspiracy wagon, has speculated that Mayer might be a mythical figure, like Bigfoot or the last honest politician. “David Mayer might be the digital boogeyman our algorithms were programmed to forget,” mused tech philosopher and part-time wizard, Byte McCryptic, before vanishing in a puff of digital smoke.
In light of this debacle, other emerging theories suggest a secret underground syndicate of Davids plotting to usurp “John Doe” status and demand open recognition. “We just want to exist, mate,” pleaded Dafydd Meier of the International Davids Alliance. “Is that so much to ask in this digital age?”
In an unrelated yet somehow relevant move, ChatGPT has reportedly also decided to forget every ex-partner its users have ever mentioned, offering billions a fresh start, free from the haunting question, “Remember when?” Whether this newfound ability to selectively forget is the result of cutting-edge technology or the chatbot’s uncontrolled adolescent phase remains hilariously unclear.
Meanwhile, OpenAI reassures all that swift patches are being implemented to restore Mayer’s place in the annals of AI recognition, lest another unsuspecting name fall victim to digital limbo. “We’re actively stitching David Mayer back into the fabric of conversational AI, one zero and one at a time,” OpenAI’s fictional spokesperson, P.E. Backtrack, declared in a tweet that nobody will remember.
Until then, David Mayer must navigate a world where he’s acknowledged everywhere except by the world’s most popular internet chatbot—a truly remarkable achievement in this age of relentless recognition.
