In Dystopian Plot Twist, Blind People Discover AI Isn’t Their Best Friend
In an unexpected plot twist that would put any dystopian novel to shame, blind and partially sighted individuals have reportedly found themselves sidestepped by the so-called inclusive, diversity-promising miracle of technology: artificial intelligence. Despite living in a world where self-driving vacuum cleaners graciously avoid vacuuming your toes, blind folks are discovering that AI has as much regard for their needs as a cat has respect for gravity.
Recently appointed president of the Royal Society for Blind Children, Tom Pey, delivered the shocking news that AI technology has been built with the precision of a toddler with a crayon, consistently leaving out any contributions that might make life easier for those without sight. “We thought AI was here to help all of humanity,” remarked Pey, “but apparently, it’s on a strict ‘if you can’t see it, you can’t benefit from it’ policy.”
AI developers, apparently too busy figuring out which emotions can be trapped inside a toaster, have not quite managed to make video games and AI agents inclusive. Blind children are now discovering that while their peers are traversing AI-driven alternate realities, they’re stuck in the real one, a reality as exciting as eating plain toast on a Monday morning.
According to eyewitness accounts, AI tech is more like the exclusive VIP club nobody asked for. “I signed up for a game of intergalactic chess and instead got a game of ‘Where’s Waldo’ with sound effects,” one frustrated user claimed. “Turns out, you can’t hear Waldo.”
Engineers have responded with a universal spin move known as the Shrug of Irresponsibility. “We’re doing our best for inclusion,” said one AI designer while coding a robot to tie shoes. When asked what they planned to do about AI’s apparent inability to recognize blindness, he replied with the insight of a Zen master, “Invisibility cloak malfunction, perhaps?”
Until then, experts suggest blind individuals employ that ancient technology known as people skills but acknowledge that such software may not be compatible with current AI operating systems. Stay tuned as we follow this saga of technological oversight into its next episode: AI Invents Itself a Halo, Again.
