Australian Economy to Necessitate Entire Army of Clouds by 2029 in Shocking New Report
In a startling revelation that nobody could have possibly seen coming except literally everyone, the Australian Information Industry Association (AIIA) has announced that Australia’s cloud computing sector is set to soar to a mind-boggling $81 billion by 2029. This exciting forecast comes just as people were starting to think that data storage might be a flash in the pan. But no, this trend lines up right next to “sliced bread” and “indoor plumbing” on the list of things we apparently can’t live without now.
The report boldly predicts the clouds will contribute to job growth and economic productivity, creating an economy so futuristic it might just delete itself by accident. “We’ve never needed as many clouds before,” stated Dr. Nimbus Fluffernutter, Chief Hypemeister at the AIIA. “It’s like farmers praying for rain, only now we’re all praying to the Cloud Gods for 5G.”
For businesses, this cloud surge means nothing less than a brave new chance to complain about absolutely terrible Wi-Fi while simultaneously hailing connectivity as the future of human civilization. “We can’t wait to see how cloud productivity will skyrocket, especially considering how productive it already is to tell everyone on Zoom that you’re stuck on mute,” said local tech enthusiast and expert on obvious things, Sydney McSydneyface.
Public response has been widely lit, with people from all walks of life waxing lyrical about the forthcoming cloud-dominated era. “I guess we’ll just have to hope the $81 billion in GDP doesn’t turn into $81 billion in mysterious maintenance fees,” commented Betty Cloudwatcher, a regular citizen who knows she’s out of storage space but can’t bring herself to pay for more.
The report ends on a note of unfettered optimism: “It’s not just our future, it’s our cloudy, mysterious, sometimes glitchy, and frequently overpriced but irresistible future.” So there you have it, Australia’s economy will literally live in the clouds while the rest of us hold onto our hats, hoping the Wi-Fi password doesn’t change. Heaven help us if it rains.
