Australia to Boldly Regulate AI Even if Trump Tweets Mean Things About It
In a stunning display of rebellious behavior reminiscent of a teenager who just got their first piercing, the Australian government has declared its intent to regulate social media and artificial intelligence. This brave decision arrives despite the mighty protest tweets that may or may not emerge from the marble-clad corridors of an approaching Trump administration.
Industry Minister Ed Husic, apparently unfazed by the looming specter of a future America led by Twitter’s most famous carnival barker, reassured Australians that their government would persist in its path of telling Facebook what not to do. “We’re more concerned about safeguarding our citizens than appeasing a few erratically tweeting billionaires,” explained Husic, while adjusting his boomerang to maximum response efficiency.
Elon Musk, world’s foremost collector of companies and untamed Twitter horse, has already voiced his undying love for unregulated cyberspaces – hoping his dream could roll on unchecked. “Just let me run free, like the majestic Tesla stock,” he didn’t quite say, but you get the idea. Musk purportedly considers regulation much like gravity: a major bummer for the audacious flights of AI.
Adding confusion to this international tech tiff is Donald Trump, reportedly eyeing a second presidential bid solely so he can make sure nobody tells his AI buddies what to do. Who needs employees when you have a robot army that can like every Instagram post you make?
Down Under, the Albanese government seems to have thrown an intellectual shrimp on the good old barbie of regulation, impressing upon its citizens that even if Trump returns to power, Australians won’t be swayed by his frequent upper-lip furrowing. “Australia has national priorities,” Husic proclaimed confidently in an accent frowned upon by predictive text software everywhere, “and here they are: keeping our folks safe, and absolutely _not_ replying to any inflammatory Tweets at 3 am.”
Though skepticism runs high about whether Australians truly want *another* lecture from their government about what’s inappropriate online when they’ve got sports memes to worry about, the move is undoubtedly bold. Husic concluded by mildly taunting emerging political storms overseas: “If Donald Trump wants to take away AI regulation, well, mate, he can come over and wrestle a koala himself.”
Elon Musk, on hearing this, tweeted “koalas are overrated” and subsequently purchased three zoos.
