AI Robot Shows Off by Assembling BMW, Plans to Dominate World One Luxury Car at a Time
In a move that has left auto workers questioning their life choices, Figure, a startup backed by OpenAI, announced the debut of its latest AI-powered humanoid robot, Figure 02. This miracle of modern robotics recently astonished the world by autonomously assembling a BMW, an achievement which most humans can only dream of unless they’re employed at a BMW factory.
“We wanted to give robots something easier than assembling Ikea furniture,” stated Brett Adcock, CEO of Figure, in a thinly veiled swipe at humanoid robots’ chief nemesis—flat-pack assembly instructions. “Now, it’s only a matter of time before our robots start putting together Teslas and challenging actual humans to week-long staring contests.”
The Figure 02 is equipped with OpenAI’s AI models for near-human speech interactions, which means it could soon out-argue a teenager and provide therapy to a mid-life crisis-plagued family sedan. With six RGB cameras instead of three eyes (because why not?), the robot boasts a 360-degree vision—ideal for spotting misplaced nuts, bolts, and existential crises in the real world.
A Vision Language Model (VLM) imparts the Figure 02 with “common sense,” a feature parents worldwide wish came standard with teenagers. It can self-correct errors, like asking itself, “Did I grab a wrench or is this a banana?” But the real kicker is the Figure 02’s battery life. It can work for a whole 20 hours, far surpassing your average human employee burdened by dreams, drama, and a profound need for caffeine.
Why is this revelatory? According to Adcock, Figure 02 is now the “most advanced humanoid on the planet,” which definitely sparks joy for those waiting for Elon Musk to drop another Optimus on the unsuspecting masses. Adcock hopes their OpenAI partnership is enough of an ace in the hole to stave off any Tesla robot-challenges.
Meanwhile, existential dread grows among humanoid job hunters, who now find themselves competing not just against each other but also against these hyper-efficient, never-tiring iron menaces that can lift 44 pounds without breaking a circuit. One exasperated human worker shared, “If it starts serving coffee, we’re all screwed.”
Arm your resumes, fellow mortals. The machines are here, and they build better than we ever could.
