AI Finally Proven More Artistic than Humans; Michelangelo Rolls in Grave Out of Sheer Jealousy
In what is perhaps the most shocking transformation in the history of art, artificial intelligence has finally joined the elite ranks of history’s greatest artists—by reinterpreting Ararat Mountain in the style of Martiros Saryan. That’s right, folks. Move over, Van Gogh. AI has entered the chat, and it’s here to stay.
To nobody’s surprise, this groundbreaking masterpiece was produced without a single human hand touching a canvas. According to a hypothetical panel of disgruntled art critics, this digital masterpiece is “both breathtaking and a tad humiliating for humanity.” They can only sit back and watch from their cushy swivel chairs as AI incessantly out-arts them with its inability to emote.
“This is what the future of art looks like,” said Dr. Art Istic, an AI-generated art critic who never sleeps and knows more adjectives than are possible for a human to memorize. “What these coded programs lack in sentience, they make up for with sheer efficiency and a profound indifference to existential dread.”
Regular folks, meanwhile, are gathering in virtual museums, staring bemusedly at screens. Some whisper, “I don’t know what it’s supposed to mean, but it’s, uh, colorful.” Art enthusiasts who used to argue over the quality of brush strokes now argue about computer-generated pixels with the same fervor historians once debated the authenticity of long-lost Da Vincis.
“I’ve spent two decades of my life studying human artistry,” lamented Jane Doodle, a professional art student now rethinking her life choices. “If AIs can replicate this level of artistic mojo overnight, I might as well have pursued a degree in underwater basket weaving.”
Critics argue AI-generated works lack the essential spirits, like passion, sweat, and those tears humans cry when their work gets auctioned for obscene prices—a nuance that, apparently, AI is still working on replicating.
Meanwhile, as AI solidifies its hold on yet another profession, Michelangelo’s spirit was reportedly seen hovering near the AI servers. “I’m rolling in my unmarked grave,” he reportedly grumbled, while practicing invisible brush strokes into the ether.
Human artists around the world are now united in their renewed struggle for relevance, eagerly waiting for a software bug that might just give them a fighting chance against this new age of synthetic, emotionally hollow creativity.
