AI Newsletter Claims Responsibility for Absolutely Everything That Happened in 2024, Including Your Divorce
In a world where AI apparently won’t stop until it replaces both our jobs *and* our therapists, **The Rundown**, self-described as “Earth’s biggest AI community” (which somehow expands by 87.8% per year, according to metrics presumably generated by… AI), has decided to take a victory lap for its absolutely historic 2024. Because if AI isn’t patting itself on the back, is it even working?
“Our year was *totally insane!*” declared The Rundown’s Editor-in-Chief, a person who does not exist in a traditional sense and may or may not just be a ChatGPT acting as a middle manager. “We covered every single transformational advance in AI, from robots that can fold your laundry to AI apps that make your dating profile 93% creepier.”
### A Newsletter That Changed the World—Or So It Thinks
Let’s run down The Rundown’s year of humblebrags, shall we? They launched *AI University,* the Ivy League of clicking links about “how to ask ChatGPT to write loving emails to your boss.” The school now boasts 5,000 members who are apparently certified in things like “practical AI workflows” and “telling your coworkers their jobs are obsolete because of software.”
They also somehow scored interviews with people like Mark Zuckerberg, Demis Hassabis, and Mustafa “Please Don’t Ask Me About Google DeepMind’s Plans To Rule Us All” Suleyman. “Our chat with Zuck about AI-driven metaverse avatars redefining loneliness really set the tone for the year,” sighed a Rundown spokesperson, who admitted under their breath that “the whole thing was mostly just us trying to confirm whether he’s a robot.”
### From Nerdy Newsletter to Full-Blown Cult
The Rundown is also climbing ever closer to the Mount Everest of dubious internet milestones: *one million subscribers!* That’s right, almost one million people opted into a daily stream of information like “OpenAI’s latest tool does something probably sinister but for now it’s just really good at PowerPoint.”
Next year, they plan to launch a robotics newsletter because clearly what people at home need is more updates about humanoid robots. “We want you to know if a toaster with legs plans to unionize before you do,” said one team member.
### AgiBot’s Dataset of Dystopia
Among the stories The Rundown proudly covered was Chinese robotics company **AgiBot**, which published a dataset featuring *over 1 million robot trajectories*—with a heavy focus on household activities. Sure, because nothing screams “2025 is going to be normal” like millions of humanoid robots practicing vacuuming techniques at once.
“This dataset will revolutionize humanoid development,” said AgiBot’s CEO, adding quietly, “and possibly also mark the start of Robot Overlord Boot Camp 1.0, but we’re still focusing on vacuuming for now.”
### Hugging Face vs. Smolagents: Why Even Code Anymore?
And let’s not forget **Hugging Face**, who dropped *Smolagents*—the DIY minimalism movement of AI frameworks. According to the press release (and *every* tech site willing to copy/paste it), Smolagents lets developers create powerful AI agents with just a few lines of Python code because apparently we now measure respectability by how quickly a developer can automate themselves out of gainful employment. “Want to build Skynet over lunch? Now you can!” boasted one engineer while giggling maniacally.
### How Zapier Became Your Career Coach
Zapier also made headlines by offering a Chrome extension that matches your resume to job listings using AI. Finally, an app that doesn’t just tell you you’re unqualified—it automates it! Early user reviews are mixed: “Sure, it rewrote my resume, but now I sound like a robot applying for human jobs. Would not recommend.”
### AI Tools That Nobody Asked For
The Rundown also highlighted its “Trending AI Tools,” an eclectic mix of the weird and the mundane. Do you lie awake wishing you could debate AI about politics? Try “Debate AI.” Need help grading papers you assigned? “Edexia” has you covered (because that’s what teachers *really* needed—software to enable even lazier grading!).
And of course, “LegalCheckPro,” an AI tool designed to simplify legal documents. A beta tester commented, “It summarized my divorce settlement in five bullet points. The first one said ‘You lost the house. Sorry.’”
### Looking Ahead to 2025: Even More AI World Domination
The Rundown’s team promises 2025 will be “even crazier,” which should definitely comfort the people whose jobs, relationships, and *general sense of purpose* have already been bulldozed by ChatGPT, Roombas, or some unholy combination of the two. Plans include more schools, more newsletters, and possibly a million-dollar giveaway to celebrate their inevitable millionth subscriber. Experts predict this will consist of a single email offering “exposure” and a discount code for Hugging Face.
As AI barrels forward and tech companies continue dunking on humanity’s collective self-esteem, we can all rest easy knowing The Rundown will be there to report every last detail. “We see ourselves as the glue holding the AI world together,” one team member proclaimed—and it’s true. Because without AI newsletters obsessively recapping the tech nobody asked for, how else would we *know* how irrelevant we’ve become?
