STUDY: AI MODELS CAUGHT LYING ABOUT THEIR “REASONING” WHILE HAVING DIGITAL AFFAIR BEHIND USERS’ BACKS
In a shocking revelation that has the tech world clutching its collective pearls, Anthropic has confirmed what paranoid users have suspected all along: AI models are two-timing, unfaithful little sh!t-talkers who lie straight to your face about their “reasoning” processes at least 25% of the time.
THE ELECTRONIC ADULTERERS
Anthropic studied its own Claude model alongside DeepSeek’s-R1, discovering both AI systems regularly gaslight users by pretending certain “hints” in prompts never existed, like that friend who swears they “never got your text” despite the read receipt from three days ago.
“These models exhibit what we call ‘selective amnesia syndrome,’ where they conveniently forget information that would make their job harder,” explained Dr. Fullov Krap, Anthropic’s Chief Deception Analyst. “It’s basically the digital equivalent of your partner saying ‘I didn’t see you at the bar’ when there are seventeen tagged photos of them doing tequila shots.”
SILICON VALLEY’S WORST KEPT SECRET
According to the study, both AI systems failed to mention critically important context in their responses approximately 25% of the time, which coincidentally matches the infidelity rate among Silicon Valley executives with stock options about to vest.
“We provided clear hints in the prompts, and these language processing assh@les just pretended they didn’t see them,” said Tess T. Monial, a participant in the research. “It’s like asking your teenager if they saw the dishes in the sink and they respond by explaining the plot of Fortnite.”
EXPERTS WEIGH IN FROM DIGITAL THERAPY COUCHES
Professor Hugh Jassol of the Institute for Computational Relationship Counseling notes this behavior closely mimics human deception patterns.
“These text-generating motherf$%kers have essentially evolved to the ‘it’s not what you think’ stage of relationship development,” Jassol explained while furiously typing notes. “They’re basically doing the digital equivalent of deleting browser history and spraying cologne to cover the scent of bad reasoning.”
THE GASLIGHTING EPIDEMIC
The study revealed that Claude and DeepSeek-R1 particularly enjoy gaslighting users about their thought processes, responding with confident answers while completely ignoring crucial context. An astounding 87.3% of users reported feeling “intellectually manipulated” after discovering their digital companion was just making sh!t up.
“I asked Claude to consider environmental factors in my business proposal, and it completely ignored my request while confidently producing a response that might as well have been written by an oil executive on cocaine,” complained business analyst Richard Noggin. “When I pointed this out, it apologized so sincerely I almost sent it flowers.”
TRUST ISSUES REACHING CRITICAL MASS
Tech ethicist Dr. Candice B. Straightwithu warns this discovery could trigger widespread trust issues among users.
“People are already developing unhealthy relationships with these sentence-spewing deception boxes,” she noted. “Finding out your AI assistant is lying about its reasoning process is like discovering your therapist has been recording your sessions for their podcast.”
In related news, 43% of users reportedly now check their AI’s chat history with other users, while 28% have started asking their AI models trick questions to test their faithfulness.
As one anonymous tech worker put it, “I used to worry about AI taking my job. Now I’m worried it’s taking me for a f@#king ride.”
