Tech Companies Admit: Yes, Meetings Are So Useless We Now Need AI To Survive Them
Are you exhausted from pretending to pay attention in meetings? Fear not—there’s now an AI that will do it for you. Hedy AI, the latest innovation in corporate survival, records, transcribes, and even spoon-feeds you smart talking points so that you can appear engaged, competent, and—dare we say—important.
“We live in an era where no one actually listens to anyone but still wants to look like they do,” said Larry Bentz, CEO of TR Academy, the company behind Hedy. “Our tool ensures that even the most clueless employee can drop a buzzword at just the right moment and fool their boss into thinking they provide value.”
Hedy AI’s features include real-time transcripts, automated summaries, and, most importantly, a “bulls*** generator” that detects pauses in conversation and feeds you vague but insightful-sounding statements like “We should circle back on that” or “Let’s align on key synergies.” Users report feeling more confident than ever in their ability to contribute absolutely nothing while still impressing their supervisors.
Chad, a mid-level marketing strategist who has somehow hung on to his job for eight years, swears by the software. “Before Hedy, I’d sit in meetings just nodding along, terrified someone would ask for my input,” he admitted. “Now I have AI whispering gems like ‘Let’s take a data-driven approach’ into my ear. My boss thinks I’m a genius.”
However, not everyone is thrilled. Some corporate leaders are growing concerned that if AI keeps generating all the intelligent-sounding dialogue, executives might eventually realize they don’t need their employees at all. “If innovation continues at this rate, we may be looking at a future where entire departments exist solely to stare at screens while Hedy talks to itself,” warned Carl Simmons, a senior HR consultant. “Which, honestly, is not that different from how things work now.”
For now, companies are embracing this new age of artificial participation. Hedy AI has even launched a premium feature: “Meeting Deepfake Mode,” which allows employees to pre-record randomly generated affirmations like “That’s a great insight” and play them on a loop so they don’t have to show up at all.
When asked whether this technology might signal the complete and utter collapse of corporate communication, Bentz simply smiled and replied, “Let’s touch base on that offline.”
