MAN WHO PUT AUSTRALIAN WOMEN’S FACES ON PORN BODIES NOW FACING $450,000 FINE, STILL LIVES WITH MOTHER
SILICON VALLEY’S “FACE-SWAP PERVERT” TECHNOLOGY RUINS LIFE OF GUY WHO RUINED LIVES
In a stunning display of “f@#k around and find out,” Australian man Anthony Rotondo is facing a potential $450,000 penalty for posting deepfake pornographic images of prominent Australian women online, marking the first time Australia has told someone to pay actual money for being a complete digital douchebag.
TURNS OUT “FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION” DOESN’T INCLUDE MAKING FAKE NUDES OF STRANGERS
Rotondo, described by neighbors as “that weird guy who never makes eye contact at the mailbox,” apparently thought his technological skills would impress the internet. Instead, they impressed Australia’s eSafety commissioner right into a historic legal action.
“This penalty reflects the severity of harm caused and will hopefully make other basement-dwelling creativity-wasters think twice,” said Commissioner Ima Watchingyu. “We’re sending a message that using AI to create spank material of unconsenting women is, shockingly, a crime.”
EXPERTS WEIGH IN, MOSTLY WITH PROFANITY
“What we’re seeing here is a classic case of ‘technical ability drastically outpacing moral development,'” explains Dr. Hugh Jidiot, Professor of Digital Ethics at Making Better Choices University. “These tools were developed to potentially revolutionize filmmaking, but instead we got this sh!t.”
According to completely fabricated statistics, 94% of all technological innovations are immediately used for either pornography or cat videos, with deepfakes falling firmly into the “making everyone uncomfortable” category.
DEFENDANT CLAIMS HE WAS “JUST HAVING FUN”
Rotondo’s legal defense reportedly includes phrases like “it was just a joke” and “they’re public figures,” arguments that legal experts describe as “about as effective as a screen door on a submarine.”
“The court typically doesn’t recognize ‘I’m a pathetic loser with no respect for women’ as a valid legal defense,” notes barrister Penny Dreadful. “Though it is refreshingly honest.”
WOMEN RESPOND WITH PLAN TO DEEPFAKE ROTONDO’S FACE ONTO BODY OF DECENT HUMAN BEING
The victims have reportedly considered responding by creating deepfake images of Rotondo having basic human decency and respect for others, but technology experts claim such images would be “too obviously fake” to be convincing.
“Creating convincing AI imagery requires some basis in reality,” explains tech analyst Chip Processor. “The algorithm simply crashes when trying to visualize Rotondo as someone with healthy relationships with women.”
GOVERNMENT CONSIDERS NEW LAW: “DON’T BE A CREEPY DIGITAL PERVERT ACT”
The landmark case has prompted discussions of new legislation specifically targeting technology-enabled creepiness. The proposed law would impose penalties based on a sliding scale ranging from “Ew, gross” to “Holy sh!t call his mother immediately.”
At press time, Rotondo was reportedly considering using the $450,000 he doesn’t have to perhaps invest in therapy, basic human empathy, or at minimum, a better hobby than digitally undressing women without consent.
