Elon Musk Unveils Grok-3, The Chatbot That Promises To Be “Maximally Truth-Seeking,” Just Like Its Creator
In an unprecedented display of humility, billionaire overlord Elon Musk has unleashed Grok-3, a chatbot so “maximally truth-seeking” that it might one day tell its own creator to sit down and shut up.
Musk’s AI startup, xAI, unveiled Grok-3 as the latest entry in the ongoing battle for chatbot supremacy, where tech giants compete to see who can generate the most convincing nonsense at the fastest rate possible. Musk, never one to sit quietly while someone else gets attention, made sure to emphasize that Grok-3 is different—because it seeks the absolute truth.
“This bot isn’t just trained on biased datasets like other chatbots,” Musk declared, inexplicably standing on a stage with dramatic lighting. “It is 100% free-thinking and unafraid of inconvenient facts … except about me, obviously.”
Despite Musk’s confidence, Grok-3 still has some catching up to do. Competitor DeepSeek recently released a chatbot so advanced that investors panicked, stock prices plummeted, and one hedge fund manager reportedly jumped into a lake screaming, “The machines know too much!” Meanwhile, OpenAI’s ChatGPT and Google’s Gemini also remain wildly popular, probably due to their ability to respond to questions without calling their users “beta males.”
Early testers of Grok-3 have praised its bold approach to truth but admitted it has a unique way of interpreting reality. One user asked it about climate change, and the bot replied, “Elon is working on Mars. Why care about Earth?” Another asked, “Is capitalism ethical?” Grok-3 simply said, “Depends. Are you a billionaire?”
Musk reportedly plans to integrate Grok-3 into X, formerly Twitter, ensuring that the platform becomes even more unbearable. Some users are concerned about the bot’s impact. “I asked it for restaurant recommendations, and it sent me a two-hour lecture on why AI regulation is a Socialist scam,” one disgruntled beta tester said.
Industry analysts predict Grok-3 will need major improvements before it can truly compete. But Musk remains optimistic. “We are entering a new era where AI can tell us the unvarnished truth,” he said while sipping a whiskey made from the tears of overworked Tesla engineers.
At press time, Grok-3 was reportedly working on a feature that automatically blocks anyone who criticizes Musk.
