**UK Government to Creatives: “AI Needs Your Work More Than You Do”**
In a bold move likely to make starving artists even hungrier, the UK government has proposed new copyright law changes that essentially tell AI companies, “Go ahead, take whatever you want.” Critics argue this is a well-organized wealth transfer from the creative industries to the tech sector, but officials insist it’s a necessary step in the ongoing campaign to ensure billionaires have really, really good AI-generated cat paintings.
Baroness Beeban Kidron, one of the few people left who still believes in paying artists, warned that the consultation was “fixed” in favor of AI firms. “They pretend it’s about innovation, but let’s be honest—it’s about making sure tech bros can generate endless mediocre screenplays without hiring a single writer,” she said, noting that we’re just one step away from a world where entire film franchises are written by algorithms trained on Reddit arguments.
The government’s plan, which allows AI companies to train their silicon minds on copyrighted materials under a special exemption, has left creatives stunned. “Ah yes, because historically, stealing *our* work has always ended well for the economy,” said one disgruntled novelist. “Can’t wait for the next AI-generated bestseller: ‘Pride & Prejudice & A Slightly Altered Version of Pride & Prejudice.'”
Officials insist this is all part of the UK’s aggressive ‘growth agenda,’ which apparently prioritizes the financial well-being of billion-dollar firms over literally anyone else. “If we don’t do this, we risk falling behind in AI development,” stated an unidentified government spokesperson, who was later revealed to be an AI-generated press release.
Meanwhile, tech executives are popping bottles of champagne. “We used to have to pay for this material,” said a giddy AI CEO. “Now, it’s just free! It’s like walking into a museum and taking home a Van Gogh, except no one even tries to stop us.”
As for artists, their options are clear: embrace the new era or prepare for a future where their life’s work is repackaged as a glossy, AI-generated children’s coloring book.
