**Australia Debates Whether to Fear AI or Just Ignore It Until It Becomes Someone Else’s Problem**
In a dazzling display of strategic indecisiveness, Australia is currently wrestling with whether to ban, embrace, or just awkwardly pretend artificial intelligence isn’t standing in the room staring at them.
DeepSeek, the latest highly advanced AI system, has sent governments and businesses into a frenzy. Some companies have taken bold action by banning their employees from using it, a stellar cybersecurity move that closely mirrors the logic of banning forks to prevent overeating. Meanwhile, government ministers are delivering their traditional response: nervously adjusting their ties while urging the public to remain “cautious” – a timeless strategy that has historically solved every technological challenge Australia has ever faced.
Not wanting to miss out on the global AI arms race, the Tech Council of Australia has chimed in, suggesting that the country should, perhaps, train and recruit the brightest young minds before they all get scooped up by countries that apparently have a plan. “If we’re not careful, our best graduates could actually leave for opportunities overseas,” warned a spokesperson, seemingly shocked to learn that Australia does not, in fact, exist in a vacuum.
Some experts, however, are keen on following China’s lead in developing AI technology that is “powerful yet less energy-intensive” – a goal that, if achievable, will be second only to Australia’s ongoing dream of making football more popular than cricket.
While citizens anxiously await the government’s next carefully hedged statement, companies and institutions across the country will continue to handle the AI revolution with the grace of a kangaroo on roller skates: hoping it goes away while secretly praying China doesn’t take over before lunch.
