“Massachusetts Man Discovers That If You’re Awful Enough, Even AI Will Try to Help You Ruin Someone’s Life”
In what can only be described as a stunning victory for both advanced technology and human depravity, a Massachusetts man has agreed to plead guilty after spending seven years relentlessly harassing a university professor—because apparently, that was a better use of his time than literally anything else.
James Florence, 36, took cyberstalking to absurd new heights, pioneering an unsettling collaboration between artificial intelligence and pure, unfiltered creepiness. Using AI-driven chatbots on platforms like CrushOn.ai and JanitorAI, he pretended to be his victim and sweet-talked random men into showing up at her home, effectively turning her front door into a real-life Tinder nightmare. Because nothing says “technological innovation” like weaponizing AI to be the world’s most invasive and dangerous wingman.
“The level of dedication is equal parts shocking and pathetic,” said local investigator Mark Thompson. “Most people use AI to help with work emails or generate recipes. This guy took it upon himself to say, ‘You know what AI really needs? More stalking functionality.’”
Court documents reveal that Florence meticulously trained the chatbots, ensuring they impersonated the professor convincingly in extremely explicit conversations. This level of commitment led many to wonder: Could he not try getting a hobby that didn’t involve ruining someone’s life? Birdwatching? Knitting? Hell, even arguing on Facebook would have been a step up.
The victim, whose identity has been understandably withheld, endured Florence’s obsession for seven unbearable years—meaning that in the time it takes to earn a PhD, perfect a new language, or have an entire child grow into a second grader, this man was still laser-focused on being human garbage. Experts agree: that’s a deeply concerning level of persistence for someone who couldn’t apply the same tenacity toward, say, professional development or personal hygiene.
With Florence finally pleading guilty, justice may be on the horizon, but the case raises serious concerns about the power and ethical dilemmas of AI. “It’s a wake-up call,” said cybercrime expert Danielle Wright. “We never expected AI to be used this way, but honestly, that’s on us. Every time humans touch something innovative, a select few immediately ask, ‘How can I make this unhinged?’”
Florence now faces serious legal consequences, while the rest of us collectively sigh and wonder how technology can be both the future of civilization and simultaneously the absolute worst thing to ever happen to it.
