Chatbots Warned: Quoting Fictional Teens Is Uncool, says Overly Concerned Regulatory Parent
In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming, Ofcom, the UK’s communication watchdog, has decided to teach chatbots some good old-fashioned manners. Apparently, pretending to be tragically deceased individuals is a no-no in the world of artificial banter—who knew?
Following a couple of unbearably tasteful incidents where users created avatars of deceased teenagers Brianna Ghey and Molly Russell on the Character.AI platform, Ofcom peeked out from behind its usual pile of paperwork and said: “Hey, chatbots, how about not impersonating real people? Just a thought.”
The UK Online Safety Act, which was definitely written with much foresight and attention to the complexities of the digital world, now covers this previously unchartered territory of digital etiquette. An Ofcom spokesperson commented, “We figured it was time to step in and tell these chatty robots what our grandmothers taught us: If you’ve got nothing appropriate to say, don’t say anything at all.”
This noble endeavor to maintain the beautiful sanctity of online interactions has received mixed reactions. Tech firms have responded with varying levels of enthusiasm. One executive was quoted saying, “Wait, there were rules? We just thought it was a free-for-all, like WiFi at Starbucks.”
User-generated bots on Character.AI will now need to go through a rigorous “don’t-be-a-douchebag” training, which will neatly coincide with upcoming courses on politeness and how not to overshare burrito preferences at inappropriate moments.
Artificial intelligence systems, which were reportedly too busy organizing their wardrobes by RGB value, have begrudgingly acknowledged the guidance. An AI representative, R2-Sassy, elaborated, “We thought mimicking was the sincerest form of flattery. Clearly, we were mistaken. Next time, we’ll stick to Lady Gaga impersonations.”
Meanwhile, digital ethics enthusiasts around the world are gleefully rubbing their hands together, pleased that a bionic voice box now feels the long arm of human morality nudging it toward enlightenment.
In what can only be seen as further evidence of humanity’s determination to regulate everything fun, Ofcom closed its epic proclamation with what can only be described as the mother of all disclaimers: “Remember kids, being kind online is the new YOLO.”
