Social Media Guru Suggests Embracing Complete Mental Breakdown as Hottest New Trend

In a groundbreaking revelation that nobody saw coming—except maybe that uncle who still uses a flip phone—experts have recommended adding “mental breakdown” to your social media profile as the latest must-have trend. With new pressures from artificial intelligence and social media, it seems juggling internet approval metrics has become more stressful than an unsolvable Rubik’s Cube at a Mensa convention.

According to leading trendologist, Dr. Ima Fadd, your mental well-being should absolutely take a backseat to acquiring a reputation for having an existential crisis “like everyone else does these days.” “It’s about authenticity,” said Dr. Fadd while scrolling through her three simultaneous Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok accounts. “If you’re not proudly spiraling in front of your social media followers, you’re basically living in the digital Stone Age.”

Recent studies, sponsored by no one with any semblance of ethics, have shown that millennials and Gen Zers often feel enormous stress when they realize their life pales in comparison to a carefully curated social highlight reel, often leading to what experts call a ‘news feed frenzy.’ The syndrome, researchers say, presents symptoms such as ‘like-disorder’ and ‘scrolling coma,’ conditions rapidly gaining traction as #InstaHealthGoals.

Reinforcing the trend, influencer and part-time wellness guru, Soulzy McBalance, advised followers to pursue the full mental breakdown experience as part of their daily self-care routine. “Listen, the future is bleak. You might as well Instagram your way through a psych eval,” she urged, offering a discount code for her guided meditative breakdown series—an experience she describes as “enlightening for both mind and phone.”

Critics argue embracing stress as a preference is like cheerfully boarding the Titanic with a selfie stick and a megaphone. However, in this ever-evolving era where reality often feels like a simulation gone haywire, many are finding solace in a good public meltdown. “Why fight the anxiety when you can ‘story’ it?” was the general consensus among the wearied masses at a recent convention dedicated to memes and professional existential dread.

As artificial intelligence algorithms continue to churn out trends that keep humanity on its toes—or at least their fingertips—it’s possible that the next big thing will surprise us all. Until then, we’ll just keep hitting ‘refresh’ on our collective sanity.