Meta Unleashes AI Powerhouse Capable of Generating Videos Faster Than You Can Say “Zuckerberg”
In a groundbreaking innovation that no one saw coming except literally everyone, Meta has proudly announced its latest digital brainchild, Movie Gen—an AI video creation tool for those who find iMovie too demanding and TikTok too old-school.
Movie Gen consists of four models, none of which, unfortunately, involved espresso machines: a 30 billion parameter video generation model, a 13 billion parameter audio model, a personalized video model for making tailored cat videos, and an editing tool so intuitive that even your grandma can make deep-fake videos of her cats becoming Instagram influencers.
This ludicrously advanced AI suite can craft high-definition videos lasting up to 16 whole seconds, which is precisely the attention span of anyone not currently reading a Buzzfeed article. It also throws in some slick synchronized soundtracks, background noises, and misplaced sound effects that will no doubt capture the noises of a bustling Berlin discotheque while you try to film your quiet walk through the park.
Meta CEO and eternally optimistic overlord Mark Zuckerberg cheerfully announced that Movie Gen would fully integrate into Instagram by next year, showing off with a post that we’re told was meant to be impressive but ended up looking like someone’s blooper reel.
Rumor has it, according to sources close to the drama (literally anyone within earshot), that Movie Gen will outperform its rivals like Runway Gen3 and OpenAI’s Sora in video quality and comedic irony. However, reliable tech critics, who are definitely not imaginary, argue that “outperforming” is just tech lingo for “we added more glitter filters.”
The revolutionary new gadget promises to transform content creation into a mundane activity anyone with a keyboard could do. Attention budding influencers: gone are the days of spending hours editing to create the perfect clip; instead, speak words into the void and watch in awe as Movie Gen brings your incoherent mumblings into motion picture mediocrity.
“Next thing you know, AI is going to write our news, steal our jobs, and probably lead the next boyband,” commented a tech enthusiast we definitely didn’t make up. “But at least they’ll make it look aesthetically pleasing on Instagram.”
Truly, humanity’s creativity has finally met its perfect match—a machine that can extend your lunch break while still making your self-promo smooshes appear magazine-worthy. Now, if only it could order pizza.
